$1.6 M Armored Car... with Whale Penis interior

A Russian armored-car builder is boasting that its latest vehicle has seats covered with "whale-penis interior." As that sentence alone speaks volumes, I don't feel it's necessary to offer any backhanded witticisms about Russians or this ridiculous idea... but I will anyway.

The $1.6 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armored car has been developed by Russian industry pioneer, RussoBaltique, probably as an ode to the absurd lavishness that was the Golden Age of Czardom. Not surprisingly, RussoBaltique used to build armored vehicles for some of Russia's greatest (and most reasonable) leaders including Vladimir Lenin and Czar Nicholas II. However, the steep costs from frequent reupholstering of the motherland's armored fleet due to spilled vodka aggravated both the Council of Ministers and RussoBaltique to the point that business ties had to be severed.

Okay, that last part I made up but it did sound plausible, didn't it? Anyway, here are the features of this Soviet monster:

-gold-plated bulletproof windows

-tungsten exhaust pipe

-diamond and ruby-encrusted gauges

-kevlar exterior

-3 complimentary bottles of RussoBaltique-- the world's most expensive vodka

-rocket/grenade-proof shell

[Link: SMH]