Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Raytheon's Ship-Mounted Laser Weapon Incinerates a UAV in Flight (Video)

Raytheon revealed its next-gen directed energy weapon at the Farnborough Air Show today.  The video shows its Laser Weapons System (LaWS) -- a six-laser weapon that focuses on a single target -- engaging and then ROASTING an unmanned aerial vehicle from the deck of a Navy vessel at sea.

There are couple reason why this new weapon is awesome:

1) It's a solid-state laser, rather than a chemical laser, so it's not as hazardous to handle and it requires less energy to use.

2) It's smaller, which makes it more feasible to pack onto a naval vessel.

3) Raytheon demonstrated that a laser integrated into the Navy's Phalanx anti-missile defense system (a weapons system already mounted on many naval vessels ) can hit a moving target from the deck of a ship, which itself is moving and rolling along with the ocean.

Check out the destruction...


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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Watch the Apollo 11 Landing With New Audio and Multiple Cameras

41 years ago today, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the Moon.  Millions watched the grainy video and listened to the noisy sound from space.  Now, Stephen Slater and Footagevault have joined multiple camera feeds with restored audio:

The result is a new view of the amazing events that took place on July 20, 1969, and a perfect excuse to watch it again.

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Monday, July 19, 2010

This Week in Review-- College Cocktails Vol. 3 (The Skidmore Bonus)

In addition to the thrill of acting like a hooligan and a suicide-inducing hangover, my recent excursion to Skidmore College also produced the most deadly College Cocktail to date.  More vile even than the Willie Horton

COLLEGE COCKTAIL -- Bundy Beer (Beer + 1-2 shots of Ethanol)

Bundy Beer will murder and defile your esophagus like it was Caryn Campbell in 1975 (Bundy's 14th victim).  Your gag reflex will try to halt Bundy Beer's descent into your stomach but, just like the cunning and ruthless serial killer it is named after, Bundy Beer will prevail.  As the putrid taste of grain alcohol mixed poorly with cheap beer lingers in your mouth, Bundy Beer is busy overtaxing your liver and eroding your stomach lining.  It shows no mercy.  Drink Bundy Beer if it's your wish to seriously harm yourself.  Or right before a Justin Bieber concert.  Whichever.

Rating: Full Gnar

BACKSTORY:  Bundy Beer was actually consumed by myself and Johan Von Reves (if you're cool, you know who this is) this past weekend at Skidmore.  Johan's house mate went to the World Cup this summer and brought back a vuvuzela, which was impromtu converted into a drinking funnel on Saturday night. 

We still had a little bit of Everclear left over from last night's festivities so Johan dared me to pour two shots in my full cup of Keystone and funnel it through the vuvuzela.  Of course I abided, much to the dismay of my kidneys and liver.

In admiration of my own shameless feat, I triumphantly bellowed out of the vuvuzela and handed it to Johan.  He followed in kind only to vomit everything in his stomach as soon as he removed the horn from his lips.  Everyone cheered.

The description I typed up above is not an exaggeration at all.  For lack of a better metaphor, Bundy Beer tastes like a bile-flavored wine cooler.  If nothing else, Bundy Beer represents the unrepentant bad behavior that is induced by the mythical atmosphere of Skidmore College.  I blame the institution.

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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Mel Gibson strikes again

In addition to being a talented actor and director, Mel Gibson is also a horrible, horrible person.  This is not news (the entirety of his 2006 anti-Semitic tirade was captured on audiotape by the L.A. County Sheriff Department), but the public has a sort of chronic amnesia when it comes to celebrity faux pas.  Case in point, Charlie Sheen is still the highest paid actor on network television.

Anyway, Mel's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, has secretly recorded 30-minutes of his abhorrent ranting.  Here are some of the highlights:

"You’re an embarrassment to me.  You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault."

"How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so fucking nice."

...and the highlight...

"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first."

Is doesn't really get any better/worse than that.  Now everyone say goodbye to Mel Gibson.

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The Win Streak Continues...

You should already know, Old Spice commercials >

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The South African Rape Axe Condom Is Frightening.

As the name implies, the Rape Axe condom is an anti-rape contraceptive for women.  Though not a contraceptive by design (it doesn't explicitly prevent pregnancy), the jagged teeth on the interior, well, mutilate your genitals.  And by extension, make it impossible to impregnate the woman you were trying to rape.

Allow me to explain further.  Women fearful of being raped can insert the Rape-Axe condom inside themselves like a diaphragm or tampon.  When Rapie McRaperson tries to get his rape on, his penis is met by a circle of razor sharp teeth.  When he pulls out, the Rape Axe comes with it.  The only way to get it off (and put an end to the constant, insufferable pain) is to go to a doctor, which REALLY makes it easy for the prosecution to build a case. 

Over 30,000 Rape-Axe condoms are being handed out free at South Africa's World Cup.  After the Cup, Dr. Sonnet Ehlers, the inventor of the Rape Axe, will sell them for $2. 

Now there a couple things to consider here...  What if, in a fit of rage induced by the realization that his penis will never look the same, the rapist murders the woman? 

What if a jealous girlfriend uses it to exact revenge on a cheating boyfriend?  (I've seen enough episodes of Jerry Springer- this is completely within the realm of possibility).

Both are unfortunate circumstances, but personally I'm contented with the fact that for every rape-turned-murder, there are many more rapists who will rot away in prison with their genitalia looking like downtown Baghdad. 

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Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Apocalypse Is Coming...

If a giant meteor destroys our planet tomorrow, blame aerobics instructor Diane Horner.  Although this video has been around for 15 years so who knows.  Either way,  I'm gonna go ahead and deep sea dive into the Gulf now.  I quit...

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