Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's (I love The Onion)

Many years from now, I believe Denny's cultural significance will transcend its current, one-dimensional existence as a cheap, corporate restaurant chain.  Someday, when the time comes for historians and political scientists to decide our generation's place in American history, Denny's will be the unit of analysis in its own empirical study.

My Hypothetical Denny's Experiment (briefly outlined):

Unit of analysis: Denny's restaurant patrons in the U.S.
Independent variable: Reasons why Denny's is awesome
Dependent variable: Level of intelligence
Control variable: Percent of U.S. population

My Hypothetical Denny's Experiment (the unfortunate results):

Independent Variables:               Causality?              Dependent Variables:                % of US:
(why is Denny's aweome?)                                        (how smart are you?)
--check all that apply--
1. Great food                                   Yes                           Forrest Gump > you                  80
2. It's fancy                                      Yes                          Ayn Rand stoopid                       90
3. Healthy food                               Yes                      Your IQ straddles room temp.        80
4. It's a great place
to watch the lower rungs
of our society act like animals        Yes                        Unlike the guy in the booth
in their natural habitat                                         adjacent to you with the NASCAR
                                                                            tee shirt and handlebar mustache
                                                                            with crumbs in it, you are smart.
                                                                            You appreciate the novelty of
                                                                            Denny's.  You are the minority.         20


I'm being serious.  I've been to a couple Denny's in my 20 (soon to be 21) years on this Earth and literally every single one has fit all the stereotypes.  Dimwitted patrons?  Check.  Waitresses missing more than three of their teeth?  Check.  Greasy, processed, probably microwaved food?  Definitely check (and to think I only had to spend $4.50... what a deal!).

And I didn't even see the kitchen.  Thank gawd.  It's still a rumor but I heard that they filmed The Descent in the Denny's kitchen in Syracuse (my beloved college town).

So you can imagine how happy I was when I stumbled upon this video on The Onion:


Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

Entourage won.

Last night, my favorite HBO show (since Sopranos and The Wire ended), Entourage, returned for my viewing pleasure and, oh man, it was glorious.  Simply put, Entourage won, which means (by the transitive property) I win because every Sunday (the eve of my perpetual, 40-hour work week) for the rest of summer is not going to suck as bad.

Entourage won for several reasons...

Reason 1- Dania Ramirez.  

She was the sexy limo driver that Turtle tried (and thankfully failed) to kiss.  I say thankfully because convincing me that Turtle could rebound from Jamie-Lynn Sigler to Dania Ramirez is a task too presumptuous (and altogether ill-advised) even for the brilliant HBO writers.  But with that said, Ms. Ramirez is fine.  Click the hyperlink to peep her Maxim spread.

Reason 2- I'm genuinely interested in the plot.  

Turtle's business is finally taking off, which I like because I had grown tired of the slacker, butt-of-every-joke Turtle who was essentially just a leech on the rest of the entourage.

Drama's career is in jeopardy which will be entertaining because, unlike Vince whose static mood is a certain savvy nonchalance, Drama goes nuts when things take a turn for the worst.  So I'm excited to see how he swindles and strong arms a deal for his own network show. 

Ari is now the top dog.  As he explained in his meeting with the agents, his responsibilities have elevated from simple client management and acquisition.  He can now contend for the rights to American entertainment properties like the NFL.  Ari will be faced with more daunting tasks.  Hilarity will ensue.

Reason 3- The Guru tribute.  

As you may or may not know, hip hop legend Keith "Guru" Elam died on April 20th of this year from cancer-related complications.  He was 43.  Hip hop heads know that he and DJ Premier aka Gang Starr made some of the dopest music during what many consider the Golden Age of Hip Hop.

Entourage played the Gang Starr classic "Above The Clouds" as the credits rolled, which I thought was a wonderful, poignant salute to the recently deceased emcee.  RIP Guru.

Like I said before, Entourage won.  Can't wait for the rest of the season!

Kanye West Makes a Beat

Below is some footage of Kanye West making a beat possibly for Good Ass Job?  I hope it is.  Apparently the sample is this song from the musical Wicked... *shrugs*

I love watching artists in the studio during the creative process.  And show tunes- they really tell the story of the human condition. 

The 8 Year Drought Is Over-- First Single Off Dr. Dre's Detox

EDIT: THIS IS THE UNFINISHED VERSION

After nearly a decade of empty promises, delays, and rumors, Dr. Dre's Detox had become a myth, a legend; another Dr. Dre album? It sounded too good to be true. And it almost was...

Since the "Detox Chronicles" began back in 2002, Dre has been producing heat for other artists (most recently 5 tracks on Eminem's Relapse: Refill and the public, like dope fiends in withdrawal, simply could not wait for their next Dre fix. But we forced ourselves to be patient because, well, The Chronic 2001 was that good. However, after promises of a finished product had been lingering for almost 3 years, the hopeless anticipation had become too presumptuous for even the most loyal Dre fan.

After watching that doofy HP Envy commercial and refusing to shell out $400 for Beat By Dre, I, too, had given up on the most anticipated hip hop album ever.  I just couldn't stay optimistic; the constant disappointment was too difficult to endure.  But today, June 16th, 2010, I saw something miraculous.  Something so shocking that I literally froze in disbelief until I could comprehend the proverbial Dear John letter sent from my eyes to my brain.  First Detox single?!

Yes, it's here.  Since usershare.com has been raped and pillaged by all the people posting the single- I'll give you a Youtube video and three download links.  Enjoy...




DOWNLOAD: Dr. Dre- Under Pressure feat. Jay-Z (usershare)

DOWNLOAD: Dr. Dre- Under Pressure feat. Jay-Z (alternate usershare link)

DOWNLOAD: Dr. Dre- Under Pressure feat. Jay-Z (filezee)

Holy Shit...

I want you to be as surprised/excited/incredulous as I was so I'm not going to reveal anything about what you're about to see.  Just thank Activision for weaving your dreams.

The Gulf Is Still a DISASTER

Based on recently revised estimates, BP's ruptured oil well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico continues to leak 25,000 to 30,000 barrels of oil a day. The new figures suggest that an amount of oil equivalent to the Exxon Valdez disaster could still be flowing into the Gulf of Mexico every 8 to 10 days.

Head over to Boston.com for their "Big Picture" round up of the ongoing catastrophe in the Gulf Coast.  The devastation is unbelievable. 

Mortal Kombat: Rebirth

Speculation ran rampant yesterday with the debut of a short "Mortal Kombat" film (subtitled, Rebirth) that was posted anonymously on Youtube.  Today, Jeri Ryan, one of the actors in the film, revealed that Rebirth was made by Director Kevin Tancharoen for Warner Brothers to see his vision of a reimagined MK film. 
Just ask The Deug, he and I are big fans of the Mortal Kombat video game series.  So much so that we were forced to stop playing Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance on Xbox because the tournaments would get so heated that we would actually want to kill each other after each match. 

Anyway, check out the trailer below but be warned that some of the images are pretty grisly... (like Reptile may or may not be shown eating pieces of a human head... like they were beef jerky).

The Origami Yacht > Your Boss'

Yachts.  Once used by the Dutch navy to catch pirates in the North Sea, now used as proverbial cock-n-balls for the super rich.  The pinnacle of today's yacht market is the "gigayacht" segment (over 250 feet) which, according to Poder360, has grown 30% since 2007.  Now most of these megayachts are just absurd; with such mindless amenities as a helipad, submarine, waterfall... essentially everything that most sensible people would scoff at.

HOWEVER, there is one yacht that is so sweet that it's totally worth the $7.2 million price tag.  That is, of course, the Origami Yacht-- winner of the Millennium Yacht Design Awards and the first yacht to fold onto itself for an optimal aerodynamic shape when it's time to cruise and unfold when it's time to stop and enjoy the sun (blow yayo off your trophy wife's buttcheek).

Here's how it works:

Meet Neil, The Real-Life Cyborg Who's Not Programmed to Terminate You

Many of you have heard of the term, "cyborg," from the Terminator series.  Specifically, when Ahh-nold says, "Ah m a cybernetic organeesm; ah macheene weeth leeving teeshoo ouver my metol exoschkeleton." 

Well, if his strong Austrian accent left you lost in translation, a cyborg is simply an organism that has both natural and artificial systems.

 

Neil Harbisson (pictured above) has achromatopsia, a syndrome that has links to five separate diseases but for Harbisson it means that he can only see in black and white. You'll notice in his photo however, that he's wearing a camera mounted to his head. This converts colors into soundwaves- which literally allows him to "hear" colors. 

In his second year at the Darlington School of Arts in the UK, he attended a cybernetics lecture given by Adam Montandon, a student at Plymouth University.  After introducing himself to Montandon and explaining his condition the pair started to work on what became known as the eyeborg project.

What they came up with was the camera you see on his head, it picks up colors and converts them into sound waves.  By memorizing the different frequencies, Harbisson became the first person in history with the ability to hear colors.

The eyeborg was finetuned by Peter Kese, a Slovenian software developer.  This further development meant that Harbisson can now perceive 360 color hues through varying frequencies.  What's more?  Adjustments in volume allow him to measure color saturation.


Considering he's an artist, studying fine arts at school, being able to see color has helped him immensely—with the painting below being his interpretation of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, taking the soundwaves he hears from the music, and converting it into color.

Cool!

Evan's Mixtape Thursdays Volume 3

The Cool Kids' Tacklebox
Just in time for summer, The Cool Kids hit us over the head with 16 tracks of heat.  But let me be clear, this isn't anything groundbreaking; not even their best release (Bake Sale EP > ).  It's just a great collection 808-heavy, boom bap tracks that are perfect for the warm June, July, & August nights.  An even mixture of brand new music, unreleased freestyles, and songs originally intended for their LP.

With that said, the beats are too dope.  Chuck Inglish might be a better producer than rapster which speaks volumes and is entirely true.  If you're like me and you like to nod your head to some low fi, 1988, Eric B. & Rakim type shit then you'll definitely enjoy Tacklebox.  Inglish shows his versatility on "Great Outdoors" where the jazz sample is clearly inspired by another throwback legend, DJ Premier. 

To be honest, besides the catchy hooks and the occasional polysyllabic rhyme- the lyrics are irrelevant.  I blame (and credit) The Cool Kids for popularizing hipster rap, but as long as the bass is bumpin'- The Cool Kids' Tacklebox will stay on repeat at least until 24 Hour Karate School or Pilot Talk* drops (both of which have been trying to clear all their samples since March).  So in conclusion, download this, crank your bass up, and vibe out to some new Cool Kids.  Can't really go wrong with that.

DOWNLOAD: The Cool Kids- Tacklebox (mixtape) [mediafire]

Alternate Link: [usershare]

*featured below

The Potential of the U.S. Space Program

Between BP dealing with the worst man-made disaster ever, Arizona spearheading a Mexican witch-hunt, and climate change ushering in the impending apocalypse, the U.S. space program has been put on the back burner.  But what if it wasn't?

According to researchers at the Johns Hopkins' Applied Physics Laboratory, we could go to Neptune and back in 5 years.

Sure, some of the necessities like an "onboard 100MW nuclear reactor that will power the magnetoplasmadynamic thrusters" doesn't exist yet, but all it takes is money!  $4 trillion to be exact.

As you may or may not know (probably not), Obama's space plan is really bad.  So bad that Neil Armstrong and 26 other NASA legends wrote him a scathing letter addressing their devastation.  So this won't happen tomorrow, but the technology could be developed in less than 50 years.

Due to the danger of cosmic radiation, speed is essential in furthering mankind's space travel.  If we wanted to go to Neptune, rather than building a 4240-ton aluminum shield to protect the crew, it would make more sense to just travel really, really fast.  Hence that insane, magnetoplasmadynamic engine.  And without all that extra weight from the shield, as aforementioned- we could get to Neptune and back in just 5 years.


Sure, $4 trillion is more than the entire federal budget last year, but maybe in 2060 we'll have that kind of cake.

Pilot Talk

Above is the album artwork for Curren$y's upcoming album, Pilot Talk, which I can't f%@king wait for.  According to the original trailer below, it was supposed to drop March 23th, but it keeps getting pushed back.  Right now it's slated for "mid-summer" release...



About a week ago, Curren$y released "King Kong" on iTunes and made a video to it which you can check out down below.  Before that, he leaked "Breakfast" (available for free), which was the album's first single.  Features on the album include Wiz Khalifa, Devin the Dude, Mos Def, and Jay Electronica.  Here's the album tracklist and video for "King Kong":

1. King Kong
2. Life Under The Scope
3. Seat Change (Feat. Wiz Khalifa)
4. The Hangover
5. Chilled Coughphee (Feat. Devin The Dude)
6. Example
7. The Day (Feat. Mos Def & Jay Electronica)
8. Scaling The Building
9. Schoolin
10. Silence (Feat. McKenzie Eddy & Wiz Khalifa)
11. Nothing But Us
12. Breakfast
13. Audio Dope II



Whenever the album drops, you all should definitely snag a copy.  It's gonna be sick.