Saturday, May 29, 2010

New Music [Saturdays] Volume 3


Here is the CD quality version for Drizzy's second leak off Thank Me Later, which drops June 15th.  An unfinished version of the song has been floating around the interwebs for a little over two months, but now it's been completed and mastered for your listening pleasure.
Brand new CuDi record featuring fellow Clevelander, Chip Tha Ripper.  This time Cudder rocks over LCD Soundsystem's Dance Yrself Clean with a great sound clip at the beginning.  Check it out:

Hosted by the intolerable infamous Gangsta Grillz team, here is T.I.'s new mixtape aptly titled, Fuck a Mixtape.  Features from Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy, Keri Hilson, & Killer Mike.  Beats from Swizz Beatz, Timbaland, Jim Jonsin, DJ Toomp, and No ID. The King is back!

Ahh, one of the most slept on groups from the West.   The Freshmen describe themselves as a combination of "the Gorillaz, OutKast, and the Beastie Boys together in a cheap motel room with a microphone."  The group consists of Kristo (mc), A. Wolf (mc) and THX (producer) hailing from the Bay Area and Los Angeles, California.

I've been checking for new Freshmen material ever since I heard their song, "Hello There" back in June of last year.  And before that, I'll be honest- I had never heard of them.  But anyway, below is their own reworking of the Mama's & the Papa's "California Dreamin"... it's pretty ill.

DOWNLOAD/STREAM: The Freshmen- Dreamin' California (usershare)

"Madonna" is the latest cut off Neako's upcoming mixtape, Rubix Cube: Yellow Edition.  It's definitely a song that you'll want to listen to at maximum volume after 4 or 5 Jager shots so put this one on your party playlist...

DOWNLOAD: NeakO- Madonna (usershare)

Hailing from Brooklyn, Sene is one of my favorite newcomers.  He has one mixtape, Reality Bites, but first check out his new record, "Love, Me."  You can't not like it- it's so smooth and anyone can relate to the message.

PLEASE DOWNLOAD: Sene- Love, Me (usershare)
p.s. beat by Daniel Oshima

New. Madvillain (Madlib x DOOM).  No further information needed, but I'll give it to you anyway.  First single off the new Madvillain album, which they started recording last year. This track, "Papermill" was released as part of Adult Swim's Singles Program; in which they will be giving away 8 free tracks in 8 straight weeks.

DOWNLOAD: Madvillain- Papermill

New Mike Posner video for a song that dropped about a year ago...


Directed by Jason Beattie...

Nickel Nine (1/4 of Slaughterhouse) dropped this banger last week with a feature from Big Sean.  It's a bonus track off the Deluxe edition of Royce's Street Hop, which is available on iTunes now.  The beat KNOCKS (produced by Mr. Porter), check it out...

DOWNLOAD: Royce Da 5'9- My Own Planet feat. Big Sean (usershare)

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Friday, May 28, 2010

*BRAND NEW* Kanye West- Power feat. Dwele

No autotuned harmonizing, just rapping?  Yes please.  This is Yeezy's first single off Good Ass Job with a feature from Dwele (who sung the chorus on "Flashing Lights"). 

Also, there is SO much more dope music that has dropped recently.  I'll post the rest later today on the next "New Music" series.  Until then, download/stream Kanye's new record below:

DOWNLOAD: Kanye West- Power feat. Dwele (usershare)

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Toy Guns These Days > Your Childhood Favorites

During my formative years, you better believe I had a whole fuckin' armory of foam dart and water guns.  But nothing I had could ever compare to the toy guns out now.  Allow me to explain...

Just for a second, reflect on every water gun battle you have ever participated in.  Remember how much it sucked to run out of water?  You were a sitting duck until you found a faucet to refill!  Well, some wise guy over at Water Combat! decided to make a water gun with water clips to make sure you never fun out... how sweet is that??  See it for yourself:

Meanwhile, some Halo nerd decided to create a fully functional Halo assault rifle that shoots Nerf darts:

The weapon was created by Halo cosplayer Moz, who combined a cheap plastic toy gun, a Nerf rifle, and some obvious expertise in ballistics to produce this monster.  It holds three magazines and A LOT of darts:

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Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Cardinal Sins of Facebook

Despite its popularity and cultural relevance, Facebook is very much a failure in the same way the Internet is.  The Internet was originally intended to be a democratizing agent; a tool for prosocial change.  But today, roughly 20 years later- it's mostly a portal for free porn and reckless anonymity (partially because there is no fiber optic cable in Afghanistan).  Facebook is no different.  Instead of being a platform for social networking, Facebook is a forum for high school and college students to procrastinate and bullshit.  In fact, that's exactly what 90% of Facebook consists of- complete bullshit.

Below is a list of Facebookisms that piss me off the most.  Enjoy, reflect on, and most importantly- avoid these cardinal sins.  Please.  There's only so much mindlessness I can tolerate.

1. Posting "Texts From Last Night" on Your Friend's Wall

Above is a screenshot from a "friend" of mine's wall.   It took me 2 seconds to find.  Why?  BECAUSE EVERY GIRL DOES THIS.  Girls, this makes you look really, really stupid- like someone I could only meet after drinking four Hurricanes.  You wouldn't walk around with a shirt that says, "I'm a dumb ho," would you?  Such blatant displays of cuckoldry are baffling to me.  

2. Hyperbolizing Unnecessarily 
This just isn't funny.  Or clever.  

3. Posting Lengthy, Ominous Song Lyrics as Your Status
It's bad enough that becoming "Facebook Official" is now a crucial step in our generation's relationships (which I suppose no one can help), but this is just inappropriate and awkward.  Cut that shit out guy, you're alienating everyone who visits your profile.  Not to mention that song is completely insane- good luck finding a rebound girl with a status like that.
4. Greek Life Nonsense 
I'm not even going to say anything snarky about this.

*puts on blindfold and runs across the highway*

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fuck American Eagle (And sorry for the hiatus)

It has been too long since I've last posted.  Anyway, as a proud American, let me just say FUCK AMERICAN EAGLE.  I took a US history class this semester to satisfy a requirement and somewhere between us swindling the Indians out of all their land and sending our Japanese citizens to internment camps during WWII, I was reminded of how awesome America is.  It rekindled my patriotism, my allegiance, my passion.

And so when I saw this shirt on some schmuck at work, my blood started to boil:

Are you fucking kidding me?  Look how small the eagle is!  And does it say America... anywhere?!?  Nope.  Just an ugly gray shirt; not even red, white, and blue.  It's like a shirt from Albania or Czechoslovakia or some other former Soviet satellites that's rotting away on the Eastern bloc.  Certainly undeserving of a prestigious "American" brand.  

That is why I'm looking for some venture capital to buy out American Eagle and launch my own clothing company- Bald Eagle.  It's pretty simple- just a bunch of red, white, or blue tee shirts with gigantic bald eagles on them.  Like this one:

It doesn't get much more American than that.  And to celebrate our fascinating history, there will also be shirts adorning still images of America's greatest heroes and triumphs.  Like the mushroom cloud over Hiroshima:
Or our 7th President, Andrew Jackson- the mastermind behind the Trail of Tears and an all around great guy:

So what do guys think?  Good idea?  Let me know in the c-section.

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Friday, May 7, 2010

Worst Song of 2010 (So Far) -- California Gurls

Oh Gawd, this song is awful.  My heart gently weeps over Snoop's legacy.  This is so bad that you need to hear it.  Download/stream it below.

Katy Perry - California Gurls feat. Snoop Dogg (usershare)  

*slams head against corner of desk*

*daps Russel Brand for wifin' up Katy*

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Germans and Cloud Creating Lasers

This just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen...

German scientists, working in a controlled lab environment, have successfully used a laser to create clouds.  Their next project?  Use this technology to create clouds and rain (on demand) in the skies over Germany.

Below is a video of the controlled experiment, during which scientists shoot a 220-millijoule laser beam into a chamber filled with water-saturated -24 C° air.

Impressive, yes- but this could be easily be used as a biological weapon.  Imagine if some nutcase started generating the perfect storm over NYC?  Be suspicious of Communists and people with sinister-looking mustaches.

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Monday, May 3, 2010

This Week in Review-- College Cocktails Vol. 2 (The Re-Fill)

Due to the popularity of the first "College Cocktails" post, I feel like it's high time to offer my superior opinion on some more of your favorite beverages.  So without further ado, here is College Cocktails Vol. 2 (The Re-Fill)...

COCKTAIL #1 -- The Willie Horton (Olde English High Gravity 800 + 3-4 shots of Hennessey) 

It tastes so bad that it could very well be poisonous or psychedelic, which might explain the violence it induces in its enthusiasts.  The morning after I tried the Willie Horton, I found two dead hookers in my trunk; dismembered and packed tightly in a large, black Glad bag.  At most bars, the Willie Horton is free since its drinkers usually need to save their money to pay bail.  I tried to get Michael Dukakis to endorse this beverage, but he declined to comment.

Rating: Willie Horton

COCKTAIL #2 -- Dirty Girl Scout (White Creme de Menthe + Vodka + Kahlua + Irish Cream)

The Dirty Girl Scout is one wily temptress.  When mixed properly, a Dirty Girl Scout looks like a tall, ominous glass of semen.  However, one sip will indulge your most heinous pedophiliac fantasies about promiscuous girl scouts and you will leave the party with a guilty conscience.  They're so delicious, like your favorite girl scout cookies (no pun).  Drink a Dirty Girl Scout after a big fight with the wife because if you're not getting any sex for a while, at least your taste buds will.

Rating: Statutory rape

COCKTAIL #3 -- The Dirty Mexican (Corona + 3 shots of Bacardi Limon)

Unlike his filthy, destitute brother, Super Beer, Dirty Mexican has actually thrived in the American capitalist economy.  He still doesn't pay his taxes, but he's a got a 6-figure salary and a new, white Mercedes.  He even drives it back to his old barrio every December to hand out Christmas gifts to all the little ni├▒os.  Order a Dirty Mexican at a classy salsa club and you'll forget the Alamo.  Viva Mexico!

Rating: acaudalado! 


Also, if you like this column- suggest more cocktails for review below in the c-section. 

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