Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fuck American Eagle (And sorry for the hiatus)

It has been too long since I've last posted.  Anyway, as a proud American, let me just say FUCK AMERICAN EAGLE.  I took a US history class this semester to satisfy a requirement and somewhere between us swindling the Indians out of all their land and sending our Japanese citizens to internment camps during WWII, I was reminded of how awesome America is.  It rekindled my patriotism, my allegiance, my passion.

And so when I saw this shirt on some schmuck at work, my blood started to boil:

Are you fucking kidding me?  Look how small the eagle is!  And does it say America... anywhere?!?  Nope.  Just an ugly gray shirt; not even red, white, and blue.  It's like a shirt from Albania or Czechoslovakia or some other former Soviet satellites that's rotting away on the Eastern bloc.  Certainly undeserving of a prestigious "American" brand.  

That is why I'm looking for some venture capital to buy out American Eagle and launch my own clothing company- Bald Eagle.  It's pretty simple- just a bunch of red, white, or blue tee shirts with gigantic bald eagles on them.  Like this one:

It doesn't get much more American than that.  And to celebrate our fascinating history, there will also be shirts adorning still images of America's greatest heroes and triumphs.  Like the mushroom cloud over Hiroshima:
Or our 7th President, Andrew Jackson- the mastermind behind the Trail of Tears and an all around great guy:

So what do guys think?  Good idea?  Let me know in the c-section.

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