Almost too Good (Or Horrible) to be True

Here's a ridiculous story straight off the AP wire:

OMAHA, Neb. - A Nebraska man who stole a painting of the Virgin Mary to finance an abortion for a teen he was accused of raping has been convicted of first-degree sexual assault and felony theft.

Aurelio Vallerillo-Sanchez, 39, of Omaha pleaded no contest to the charges Friday and faces up to 70 years in prison when sentenced in October, Douglas County prosecutor Brenda Beadle said Saturday.

A call to the county public defender representing Vallerillo-Sanchez wasn't answered Saturday. Beadle said Vallerillo-Sanchez fled to Mexico with the 300-year-old painting worth $100,000 and the pregnant teen in March 2007.

"The plan was that when they got to Mexico, she was to undergo an abortion," she said.

When an abortion wasn't possible, Vallerillo-Sanchez pushed to have the baby given up for adoption, Beadle said: "He wanted to do everything he could to get rid of this baby 'cause it was evidence against him."

The teen returned to Nebraska after giving birth, the prosecutor said.

Stealing the Virgin Mary to finance an operation that will abort the child of a teenage girl that you just raped? Almost as sacrilegious as it is ironic and sadistic. Almost.