In a moment of identity crisis, caught between his commitment to the Hippocratic Oath and his (presumable) desire to control the population, Evgeny Moskalev developed a means of turning alcohol into pill form.
Moskalev is a professor at the Saint Petersburg Technological University and his new technique can solidify any kind of alcohol, including whiskey, cognac, wine, and beer. Moskalev believes this will be a beneficial* for people who want to calculate exactly how much alcohol they've consumed.
*This is ridiculous. At least traditional vodka's bitter ethyl taste deters most
idiots people from drinking it like water. I can already imagine the slew of new drinking games that will spawn from these pills. One will be "Robert Downey Jr." It's simple- swallow the most alcohol pills at the party and then, assuming your heart rate doesn't flatline, you get crowned, "Robert Downey Jr."
This is almost as dumb as
Asteroid Lassos
Props to
Jordan "Dp Skeets" for the
story.
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