Slackin'

This weekend was really busy, especially since Andrew, Tom, and Drew came up for Thursday and Friday nights; a shit show that left me hung over and weak for the rest of the weekend, which is partly why I haven't posted in like 5 days. Anyway, I'm gonna try to get back into the everyday routine with this:
On March 24th, An Italian doctor completed a brain operation despite having a HEART ATTACK after realizing his patient would never recover if he stopped the surgery. Surgeon Claudio Vitale started feeling pains in his chest half way through the operation and, instead of doing what any normal person would do (writh in agony on the floor) refused to stop despite his team's urging and the pain worsening. After finishing the surgery, the doctor had an angioplasty operation to treat his attack. Vitale insists he's not a hero, but that he couldn't leave the patient "at such a delicate moment." Both doctor and patient are recovering. I have always been envious of specialized surgeries who have 7 figure salaries and only do like 4 surgeries a year, but this guy has earned every dollar of his paycheck. Simply unbelievable.

Space Tourism?

Charles Simonyi, a Hungarian-born software developer, paid to launch into outer space and visit the International Space Station. He, and a crew of flight engineers and astronauts, boarded the Expedition 19, which left Earth's atmosphere today at about 8 AM EST. Over the next two days, the shuttle's commander, Gennady Padalka, will guide the spacecraft toward a docking at the space station’s aft port around 9:14 a.m. Saturday. In a telephone interview from Baikonur, Mr. Simonyi said he plans to help Russian engineers calibrate space radiation sensors, chat with school kids via ham radio, and discuss his experiences with Internet readers. He would not discuss how much he actually paid for his space flights, saying only that the list price for a Soyuz seat was $35 million.

Observe and Report

Funny Rap Song

Eastbound & Down

“Eastbound & Down," HBO's most recent original series, stars Danny McBride (Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder) as a former pitching star and complete asshole named Kenny Powers, a Jew-hating, gay-bashing, constantly intoxicated athlete who drank away any vestiges of discipline and forced himself into retirement by the depths of his own irresponsibility. The show is a six episode series that concludes this Sunday night at 10:30 pm and below is a video of one of the show's minor, but funnier characters; Will Ferrell as the incredibly pompous, ridiculous looking used car salesman named Ashley Schaeffer. If you don't have HBO, you can watch all of its original series and documentaries at SurfTheChannel.

Worst. Father. Ever.

Pictured above is Josef Fritzl, an Austrian man who, 24 years ago, locked his daughter in a windowless dungeon below his house where he raped and fathered seven children with her. What a scumbag! One of the children, who was denied all medical care, died of respiratory problems three days after birth. Fritzl's solution? Obviously incinerate the body and attempt to destory all evidence of his existence. The story broke open in April of last year when Fritzl took his eledest daughter, Kerstin, to the hospital, which triggered a series of events that lead to discovery. Anyway, his trial has just come to a close and he has been found guilty of all counts including rape, incest, imprisonment, and enslavement and sentenced to life in prison. Here's the initial article about Fritzl from April 2008.

A Talented Bay Area Rapper?

The Long Overdue "Top 10" List

Have you ever watched an NBA game in which your favorite team was losing and you found yourself saying, "That guy is way too ugly to be good at basketball" or even just "That guy is so ugly!"? In some cases, excellence in the sport of basketball and physical attractiveness are mutually exclusive. In other words, you really don't have to look good to play good. Without further ado, it is my odd pleasure to present to you, in my opinion, the 10 ugliest players in NBA history.

#10 Patrick Ewing

I tried to find a game shot that perfectly illustrated how misshapen his head is, but this is the best I could do. At a three quarters view, you can see just how long and disfigured his skull is. Aside from that, his absolutely huge mouth and forehead make his small eyes and ears that much more noticeable. All in all, Ewing makes the list.

#9 Ben Handlogten

Ben Handlogten is comically ugly. Handlogten almost never set foot on court in his brief, 2 year career from 2003-2005, and I can guess why. His horrendously goofy face honestly makes him look borderline retarded, but that awful hair and lopsided smile are the deal closers.

#8 Nick Van Exel

Nick Van Exel is uniquely ugly; his baby face, with the pointy head, and questionable facial hair is a pretty shocking combination. Ugly enough for the 8 spot, moving on...

#7 Joakim Noah

Where do I start? That awful pony tailed hair, horrific teeth, and the occasional dirty mustache... terrible. Just terrible.

#6 Sheldon Williams

I have always hated Duke basketball, but it was easy for me to shit talk Duke fans when one of their star players looked like he has developed slow, onset down syndrome since his youth. I'm talking, of course, about Sheldon Williams. There may be some controversy over his disclusion from the top 3, but he is married, with kids, to Candace Parker! Nevertheless, his humongous forehead, sometimes referred to as a fivehead, droopy face, and weird ears make him just an awful sight on the court.

#5 Tyrone Hill

I'll be honest, he looks like a nice guy, but his personality may not be able to compensate for his ugly mug. There is really no single, dominant feature that is especially ugly, it's more a combination of everything that makes for such a scrofulous face.

#4 Charlie Villanueva

Unfortunately for Charlie, his unfavorable physique is partially beyond his control. Charlie has alopecia areata, a harmless, non-life threatening autoimmune skin disease that results in full body hair loss. With that said, he is so ugly. With a very rigid and overbearing brow line and, sorry, absolutely no hair, Charlie is definitely in the top 5.

#3 Popeye Jones

Popeye is a naturally ugly individual. Although this photo is unflattering because it froze him in such a bewildering expression, Popeye is not simply unphotogenic; he's just plain ugly. His squeaky bald head and extremely goofy, lopsided ears pretty much seal the deal.

#2 Sam Cassell

At a close number 2, here is Sam Cassell. His alien-like bald head, obnoxiously big horse teeth, and tiny teeth remind us of one of the Monstars from Space Jam. DAMN, he is ugly.

#1 Roberto Dueñas

This 7'4" monster made the list on sort of a technicality- he was drafted with the last overall pick by the Chicago Bulls in the 1997 NBA draft, but never set foot on court. More importantly, though, is his coveted position as the ugliest NBA player in history. With a Frankenstein-esque bone structure and horribly asymmetrical features, Dueñas definitely has a face for radio. Congratulations Roberto, remember to thank your mom and dad (who have to be brother and sister) for their steamy, incestuous sexcapade that later produced you!

Drake

Along with Kid CuDi and B.o.B, Drake is also one of my favorite new rappers. Much of his production is reminiscent of Kanye's recent, pop-infused style that combines interestingly moody background samples with distinctive drums that drive his flow. Even better, though, is his lyrics with their complex rhyme scheme and wordplay that remind me of Lil Wayne, who is featured a couple times on his recent mixtape, "So Far Gone." So Far Gone can be downloaded free on his blog. If you're like me, you'll probably ignore some of the slower, R&B tracks and enjoy some of the better hip tracks like, "Ignant Freestyle" and "Successful." Unfortunately, Drake is attempting to make the legitimate crossover from rapper to rapper/singer; a transition that almost never goes over smoothly in hip hop.

Stone Cold Movie

Either purposefully or accidentally, 2010 is gearing up to be the golden year for incredible action movies. All of my shock and surprise surrounding the Texas Rattlesnake's exclusion from The Expendables (discussed below) was alleviated when I found out that Hollywood decided to give him his own action movie called Damage. In this sure-to-be instant classic, Stone Cold plays (what else?) a recently paroled ex-con who is forced into the illegal world of underground fighting. Not much more information is given about the movie as it is still in post production, but expect at least a couple slow motion montages with plenty of Delayed High Angle Spinebusters and, of course, his signature "Stone Cold Stunner."

Keyz II The City

Allow me to introduce probably the only rapper that will ever rep Hopewell Valley. Keyz, whose real name is Odeani McBean, went to school with me at Hopewell Valley Central High School. Although I didn't really know Odeani personally, I have followed his music career since the beginning. His first mixtape, Keyz II The City Volume I, was pretty rough but he has come along way since then and has a large fan following all over the east coast. This is his latest solo mixtape, The Evolution, which can be downloaded free on his myspace. Even more impressive is his feature on the 71st edition of the Coast 2 Coast mixtape series, hosted by Jadakiss. His song on the mixtape is "Here I Go Again," which can also be sampled on his myspace. Check it out!

Greatest Movie Ever?

The Expendables, written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, is a movie about a team of mercenaries head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator. But the plot is irrelevent. Along with its 2010 release date, it includes an absolutely ridiculous cast of complete meatheads: Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator & Current Governor of California), Sylvester Stallone (Rambo), Dolph Lundgren (Ivan Drago from Rocky IV), Jet Li (The One, Fearless), Heavyweight Ultimate Fighting Champion Randy Couture, Jason Statham (The Transporter, Crank), Mickey Rourke (Sin City, The Wrestler), and Danny Trejo (The Mexican criminal in literally every movie). Ben Kingsley, who is not shown above, and Forrest Whitaker also signed on presumably to provide at least some acting amidst all of the inevitable killing and mayhem. Simply put, Stallone is a nutcase. A cast like this... as mercenaries? I can't wait to see hundreds upon hundreds of people getting killed in the sweetest way possible. Early prediction: Best. Movie. Ever.