Friday, December 10, 2010
Curren$y - Pilot Talk II (Album Review)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (Album Review)
Face it, Jerome get more time than Brandon / And at the airport, they check all through my bag and tell me it’s random... This the real world, homie, school finished / They done stole your dreams, you don’t know who did it / I treat the cash like the government treats AIDS, I won’t be satisfied till all my niggas get it, get it?
Friday, September 17, 2010
For those of you who still give a shit...
Too soon? Sorry. Anyway, Jerk Magazine, a student-run magazine on campus, has called upon me to share my words and wisdom on their online blog. This was an opportunity I couldn't refuse. I can include this on my resume and still write in the same sarcastic, incendiary prose that has become my writing style. You can bookmark the hyperlink above to stay updated on my writing for Jerk (my first article should be up sometime this weekend).
Thanks to everyone who read and supported Your Favorite Blog, and you're welcome for my two cents. Keep the change, you filthy animals.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Raytheon's Ship-Mounted Laser Weapon Incinerates a UAV in Flight (Video)
Raytheon revealed its next-gen directed energy weapon at the Farnborough Air Show today. The video shows its Laser Weapons System (LaWS) -- a six-laser weapon that focuses on a single target -- engaging and then ROASTING an unmanned aerial vehicle from the deck of a Navy vessel at sea.
There are couple reason why this new weapon is awesome:
1) It's a solid-state laser, rather than a chemical laser, so it's not as hazardous to handle and it requires less energy to use.
2) It's smaller, which makes it more feasible to pack onto a naval vessel.
3) Raytheon demonstrated that a laser integrated into the Navy's Phalanx anti-missile defense system (a weapons system already mounted on many naval vessels ) can hit a moving target from the deck of a ship, which itself is moving and rolling along with the ocean.
Check out the destruction...
HOLY SHIT!!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Watch the Apollo 11 Landing With New Audio and Multiple Cameras
41 years ago today, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the Moon. Millions watched the grainy video and listened to the noisy sound from space. Now, Stephen Slater and Footagevault have joined multiple camera feeds with restored audio:
The result is a new view of the amazing events that took place on July 20, 1969, and a perfect excuse to watch it again.
Monday, July 19, 2010
This Week in Review-- College Cocktails Vol. 3 (The Skidmore Bonus)
In addition to the thrill of acting like a hooligan and a suicide-inducing hangover, my recent excursion to Skidmore College also produced the most deadly College Cocktail to date. More vile even than the Willie Horton.
COLLEGE COCKTAIL -- Bundy Beer (Beer + 1-2 shots of Ethanol)
Bundy Beer will murder and defile your esophagus like it was Caryn Campbell in 1975 (Bundy's 14th victim). Your gag reflex will try to halt Bundy Beer's descent into your stomach but, just like the cunning and ruthless serial killer it is named after, Bundy Beer will prevail. As the putrid taste of grain alcohol mixed poorly with cheap beer lingers in your mouth, Bundy Beer is busy overtaxing your liver and eroding your stomach lining. It shows no mercy. Drink Bundy Beer if it's your wish to seriously harm yourself. Or right before a Justin Bieber concert. Whichever.
Rating: Full Gnar
BACKSTORY: Bundy Beer was actually consumed by myself and Johan Von Reves (if you're cool, you know who this is) this past weekend at Skidmore. Johan's house mate went to the World Cup this summer and brought back a vuvuzela, which was impromtu converted into a drinking funnel on Saturday night.
We still had a little bit of Everclear left over from last night's festivities so Johan dared me to pour two shots in my full cup of Keystone and funnel it through the vuvuzela. Of course I abided, much to the dismay of my kidneys and liver.
In admiration of my own shameless feat, I triumphantly bellowed out of the vuvuzela and handed it to Johan. He followed in kind only to vomit everything in his stomach as soon as he removed the horn from his lips. Everyone cheered.
The description I typed up above is not an exaggeration at all. For lack of a better metaphor, Bundy Beer tastes like a bile-flavored wine cooler. If nothing else, Bundy Beer represents the unrepentant bad behavior that is induced by the mythical atmosphere of Skidmore College. I blame the institution.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Mel Gibson strikes again
Anyway, Mel's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, has secretly recorded 30-minutes of his abhorrent ranting. Here are some of the highlights:
"You’re an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault."
"How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so fucking nice."
...and the highlight...
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first."
Is doesn't really get any better/worse than that. Now everyone say goodbye to Mel Gibson.
The Win Streak Continues...
You should already know, Old Spice commercials >
The South African Rape Axe Condom Is Frightening.
Allow me to explain further. Women fearful of being raped can insert the Rape-Axe condom inside themselves like a diaphragm or tampon. When Rapie McRaperson tries to get his rape on, his penis is met by a circle of razor sharp teeth. When he pulls out, the Rape Axe comes with it. The only way to get it off (and put an end to the constant, insufferable pain) is to go to a doctor, which REALLY makes it easy for the prosecution to build a case.
Over 30,000 Rape-Axe condoms are being handed out free at South Africa's World Cup. After the Cup, Dr. Sonnet Ehlers, the inventor of the Rape Axe, will sell them for $2.
Now there a couple things to consider here... What if, in a fit of rage induced by the realization that his penis will never look the same, the rapist murders the woman?
What if a jealous girlfriend uses it to exact revenge on a cheating boyfriend? (I've seen enough episodes of Jerry Springer- this is completely within the realm of possibility).
Both are unfortunate circumstances, but personally I'm contented with the fact that for every rape-turned-murder, there are many more rapists who will rot away in prison with their genitalia looking like downtown Baghdad.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Apocalypse Is Coming...
If a giant meteor destroys our planet tomorrow, blame aerobics instructor Diane Horner. Although this video has been around for 15 years so who knows. Either way, I'm gonna go ahead and deep sea dive into the Gulf now. I quit...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's (I love The Onion)
Many years from now, I believe Denny's cultural significance will transcend its current, one-dimensional existence as a cheap, corporate restaurant chain. Someday, when the time comes for historians and political scientists to decide our generation's place in American history, Denny's will be the unit of analysis in its own empirical study.
My Hypothetical Denny's Experiment (briefly outlined):
Unit of analysis: Denny's restaurant patrons in the U.S.
Independent variable: Reasons why Denny's is awesome
Dependent variable: Level of intelligence
Control variable: Percent of U.S. population
My Hypothetical Denny's Experiment (the unfortunate results):
Independent Variables: Causality? Dependent Variables: % of US:
(why is Denny's aweome?) (how smart are you?)
--check all that apply--
1. Great food Yes Forrest Gump > you 80
2. It's fancy Yes Ayn Rand stoopid 90
3. Healthy food Yes Your IQ straddles room temp. 80
4. It's a great place
to watch the lower rungs
of our society act like animals Yes Unlike the guy in the booth
in their natural habitat adjacent to you with the NASCAR
tee shirt and handlebar mustache
with crumbs in it, you are smart.
You appreciate the novelty of
Denny's. You are the minority. 20
I'm being serious. I've been to a couple Denny's in my 20 (soon to be 21) years on this Earth and literally every single one has fit all the stereotypes. Dimwitted patrons? Check. Waitresses missing more than three of their teeth? Check. Greasy, processed, probably microwaved food? Definitely check (and to think I only had to spend $4.50... what a deal!).
And I didn't even see the kitchen. Thank gawd. It's still a rumor but I heard that they filmed The Descent in the Denny's kitchen in Syracuse (my beloved college town).
So you can imagine how happy I was when I stumbled upon this video on The Onion:
Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
Monday, June 28, 2010
Entourage won.
Last night, my favorite HBO show (since Sopranos and The Wire ended), Entourage, returned for my viewing pleasure and, oh man, it was glorious. Simply put, Entourage won, which means (by the transitive property) I win because every Sunday (the eve of my perpetual, 40-hour work week) for the rest of summer is not going to suck as bad.
Entourage won for several reasons...
Reason 1- Dania Ramirez.
She was the sexy limo driver that Turtle tried (and thankfully failed) to kiss. I say thankfully because convincing me that Turtle could rebound from Jamie-Lynn Sigler to Dania Ramirez is a task too presumptuous (and altogether ill-advised) even for the brilliant HBO writers. But with that said, Ms. Ramirez is fine. Click the hyperlink to peep her Maxim spread.
Reason 2- I'm genuinely interested in the plot.
Turtle's business is finally taking off, which I like because I had grown tired of the slacker, butt-of-every-joke Turtle who was essentially just a leech on the rest of the entourage.
Drama's career is in jeopardy which will be entertaining because, unlike Vince whose static mood is a certain savvy nonchalance, Drama goes nuts when things take a turn for the worst. So I'm excited to see how he swindles and strong arms a deal for his own network show.
Ari is now the top dog. As he explained in his meeting with the agents, his responsibilities have elevated from simple client management and acquisition. He can now contend for the rights to American entertainment properties like the NFL. Ari will be faced with more daunting tasks. Hilarity will ensue.
Reason 3- The Guru tribute.
As you may or may not know, hip hop legend Keith "Guru" Elam died on April 20th of this year from cancer-related complications. He was 43. Hip hop heads know that he and DJ Premier aka Gang Starr made some of the dopest music during what many consider the Golden Age of Hip Hop.
Entourage played the Gang Starr classic "Above The Clouds" as the credits rolled, which I thought was a wonderful, poignant salute to the recently deceased emcee. RIP Guru.
Like I said before, Entourage won. Can't wait for the rest of the season!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Kanye West Makes a Beat
Below is some footage of Kanye West making a beat possibly for Good Ass Job? I hope it is. Apparently the sample is this song from the musical Wicked... *shrugs*
I love watching artists in the studio during the creative process. And show tunes- they really tell the story of the human condition.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The 8 Year Drought Is Over-- First Single Off Dr. Dre's Detox
After nearly a decade of empty promises, delays, and rumors, Dr. Dre's Detox had become a myth, a legend; another Dr. Dre album? It sounded too good to be true. And it almost was...
Since the "Detox Chronicles" began back in 2002, Dre has been producing heat for other artists (most recently 5 tracks on Eminem's Relapse: Refill and the public, like dope fiends in withdrawal, simply could not wait for their next Dre fix. But we forced ourselves to be patient because, well, The Chronic 2001 was that good. However, after promises of a finished product had been lingering for almost 3 years, the hopeless anticipation had become too presumptuous for even the most loyal Dre fan.
After watching that doofy HP Envy commercial and refusing to shell out $400 for Beat By Dre, I, too, had given up on the most anticipated hip hop album ever. I just couldn't stay optimistic; the constant disappointment was too difficult to endure. But today, June 16th, 2010, I saw something miraculous. Something so shocking that I literally froze in disbelief until I could comprehend the proverbial Dear John letter sent from my eyes to my brain. First Detox single?!
Yes, it's here. Since usershare.com has been raped and pillaged by all the people posting the single- I'll give you a Youtube video and three download links. Enjoy...
DOWNLOAD: Dr. Dre- Under Pressure feat. Jay-Z (usershare)
DOWNLOAD: Dr. Dre- Under Pressure feat. Jay-Z (alternate usershare link)
DOWNLOAD: Dr. Dre- Under Pressure feat. Jay-Z (filezee)
Holy Shit...
I want you to be as surprised/excited/incredulous as I was so I'm not going to reveal anything about what you're about to see. Just thank Activision for weaving your dreams.
The Gulf Is Still a DISASTER
Based on recently revised estimates, BP's ruptured oil well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico continues to leak 25,000 to 30,000 barrels of oil a day. The new figures suggest that an amount of oil equivalent to the Exxon Valdez disaster could still be flowing into the Gulf of Mexico every 8 to 10 days.
Head over to Boston.com for their "Big Picture" round up of the ongoing catastrophe in the Gulf Coast. The devastation is unbelievable.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Mortal Kombat: Rebirth
Speculation ran rampant yesterday with the debut of a short "Mortal Kombat" film (subtitled, Rebirth) that was posted anonymously on Youtube. Today, Jeri Ryan, one of the actors in the film, revealed that Rebirth was made by Director Kevin Tancharoen for Warner Brothers to see his vision of a reimagined MK film.
Just ask The Deug, he and I are big fans of the Mortal Kombat video game series. So much so that we were forced to stop playing Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance on Xbox because the tournaments would get so heated that we would actually want to kill each other after each match.
Anyway, check out the trailer below but be warned that some of the images are pretty grisly... (like Reptile may or may not be shown eating pieces of a human head... like they were beef jerky).
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Origami Yacht > Your Boss'
Yachts. Once used by the Dutch navy to catch pirates in the North Sea, now used as proverbial cock-n-balls for the super rich. The pinnacle of today's yacht market is the "gigayacht" segment (over 250 feet) which, according to Poder360, has grown 30% since 2007. Now most of these megayachts are just absurd; with such mindless amenities as a helipad, submarine, waterfall... essentially everything that most sensible people would scoff at.
HOWEVER, there is one yacht that is so sweet that it's totally worth the $7.2 million price tag. That is, of course, the Origami Yacht-- winner of the Millennium Yacht Design Awards and the first yacht to fold onto itself for an optimal aerodynamic shape when it's time to cruise and unfold when it's time to stop and enjoy the sun (blow yayo off your trophy wife's buttcheek).
Here's how it works:
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Meet Neil, The Real-Life Cyborg Who's Not Programmed to Terminate You
Many of you have heard of the term, "cyborg," from the Terminator series. Specifically, when Ahh-nold says, "Ah m a cybernetic organeesm; ah macheene weeth leeving teeshoo ouver my metol exoschkeleton."
Well, if his strong Austrian accent left you lost in translation, a cyborg is simply an organism that has both natural and artificial systems.
Neil Harbisson (pictured above) has achromatopsia, a syndrome that has links to five separate diseases but for Harbisson it means that he can only see in black and white. You'll notice in his photo however, that he's wearing a camera mounted to his head. This converts colors into soundwaves- which literally allows him to "hear" colors.
In his second year at the Darlington School of Arts in the UK, he attended a cybernetics lecture given by Adam Montandon, a student at Plymouth University. After introducing himself to Montandon and explaining his condition the pair started to work on what became known as the eyeborg project.
What they came up with was the camera you see on his head, it picks up colors and converts them into sound waves. By memorizing the different frequencies, Harbisson became the first person in history with the ability to hear colors.
The eyeborg was finetuned by Peter Kese, a Slovenian software developer. This further development meant that Harbisson can now perceive 360 color hues through varying frequencies. What's more? Adjustments in volume allow him to measure color saturation.
Considering he's an artist, studying fine arts at school, being able to see color has helped him immensely—with the painting below being his interpretation of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, taking the soundwaves he hears from the music, and converting it into color.
Cool!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Evan's Mixtape Thursdays Volume 3
Just in time for summer, The Cool Kids hit us over the head with 16 tracks of heat. But let me be clear, this isn't anything groundbreaking; not even their best release (Bake Sale EP > ). It's just a great collection 808-heavy, boom bap tracks that are perfect for the warm June, July, & August nights. An even mixture of brand new music, unreleased freestyles, and songs originally intended for their LP.
With that said, the beats are too dope. Chuck Inglish might be a better producer than rapster which speaks volumes and is entirely true. If you're like me and you like to nod your head to some low fi, 1988, Eric B. & Rakim type shit then you'll definitely enjoy Tacklebox. Inglish shows his versatility on "Great Outdoors" where the jazz sample is clearly inspired by another throwback legend, DJ Premier.
To be honest, besides the catchy hooks and the occasional polysyllabic rhyme- the lyrics are irrelevant. I blame (and credit) The Cool Kids for popularizing hipster rap, but as long as the bass is bumpin'- The Cool Kids' Tacklebox will stay on repeat at least until 24 Hour Karate School or Pilot Talk* drops (both of which have been trying to clear all their samples since March). So in conclusion, download this, crank your bass up, and vibe out to some new Cool Kids. Can't really go wrong with that.
DOWNLOAD: The Cool Kids- Tacklebox (mixtape) [mediafire]
Alternate Link: [usershare]
*featured below
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Potential of the U.S. Space Program
Between BP dealing with the worst man-made disaster ever, Arizona spearheading a Mexican witch-hunt, and climate change ushering in the impending apocalypse, the U.S. space program has been put on the back burner. But what if it wasn't?
According to researchers at the Johns Hopkins' Applied Physics Laboratory, we could go to Neptune and back in 5 years.
Sure, some of the necessities like an "onboard 100MW nuclear reactor that will power the magnetoplasmadynamic thrusters" doesn't exist yet, but all it takes is money! $4 trillion to be exact.
As you may or may not know (probably not), Obama's space plan is really bad. So bad that Neil Armstrong and 26 other NASA legends wrote him a scathing letter addressing their devastation. So this won't happen tomorrow, but the technology could be developed in less than 50 years.
Due to the danger of cosmic radiation, speed is essential in furthering mankind's space travel. If we wanted to go to Neptune, rather than building a 4240-ton aluminum shield to protect the crew, it would make more sense to just travel really, really fast. Hence that insane, magnetoplasmadynamic engine. And without all that extra weight from the shield, as aforementioned- we could get to Neptune and back in just 5 years.
Sure, $4 trillion is more than the entire federal budget last year, but maybe in 2060 we'll have that kind of cake.
Pilot Talk
Above is the album artwork for Curren$y's upcoming album, Pilot Talk, which I can't f%@king wait for. According to the original trailer below, it was supposed to drop March 23th, but it keeps getting pushed back. Right now it's slated for "mid-summer" release...
About a week ago, Curren$y released "King Kong" on iTunes and made a video to it which you can check out down below. Before that, he leaked "Breakfast" (available for free), which was the album's first single. Features on the album include Wiz Khalifa, Devin the Dude, Mos Def, and Jay Electronica. Here's the album tracklist and video for "King Kong":
1. King Kong
2. Life Under The Scope
3. Seat Change (Feat. Wiz Khalifa)
4. The Hangover
5. Chilled Coughphee (Feat. Devin The Dude)
6. Example
7. The Day (Feat. Mos Def & Jay Electronica)
8. Scaling The Building
9. Schoolin
10. Silence (Feat. McKenzie Eddy & Wiz Khalifa)
11. Nothing But Us
12. Breakfast
13. Audio Dope II
Whenever the album drops, you all should definitely snag a copy. It's gonna be sick.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
New Music [Saturdays] Volume 3
I've been checking for new Freshmen material ever since I heard their song, "Hello There" back in June of last year. And before that, I'll be honest- I had never heard of them. But anyway, below is their own reworking of the Mama's & the Papa's "California Dreamin"... it's pretty ill.
DOWNLOAD/STREAM: The Freshmen- Dreamin' California (usershare)
"Madonna" is the latest cut off Neako's upcoming mixtape, Rubix Cube: Yellow Edition. It's definitely a song that you'll want to listen to at maximum volume after 4 or 5 Jager shots so put this one on your party playlist...
DOWNLOAD: NeakO- Madonna (usershare)
Hailing from Brooklyn, Sene is one of my favorite newcomers. He has one mixtape, Reality Bites, but first check out his new record, "Love, Me." You can't not like it- it's so smooth and anyone can relate to the message.
PLEASE DOWNLOAD: Sene- Love, Me (usershare)
p.s. beat by Daniel Oshima
New. Madvillain (Madlib x DOOM). No further information needed, but I'll give it to you anyway. First single off the new Madvillain album, which they started recording last year. This track, "Papermill" was released as part of Adult Swim's Singles Program; in which they will be giving away 8 free tracks in 8 straight weeks.
DOWNLOAD: Madvillain- Papermill
New Mike Posner video for a song that dropped about a year ago...
*shrugs*
Directed by Jason Beattie...
Nickel Nine (1/4 of Slaughterhouse) dropped this banger last week with a feature from Big Sean. It's a bonus track off the Deluxe edition of Royce's Street Hop, which is available on iTunes now. The beat KNOCKS (produced by Mr. Porter), check it out...
DOWNLOAD: Royce Da 5'9- My Own Planet feat. Big Sean (usershare)
Friday, May 28, 2010
*BRAND NEW* Kanye West- Power feat. Dwele
Also, there is SO much more dope music that has dropped recently. I'll post the rest later today on the next "New Music" series. Until then, download/stream Kanye's new record below:
DOWNLOAD: Kanye West- Power feat. Dwele (usershare)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Toy Guns These Days > Your Childhood Favorites
During my formative years, you better believe I had a whole fuckin' armory of foam dart and water guns. But nothing I had could ever compare to the toy guns out now. Allow me to explain...
Just for a second, reflect on every water gun battle you have ever participated in. Remember how much it sucked to run out of water? You were a sitting duck until you found a faucet to refill! Well, some wise guy over at Water Combat! decided to make a water gun with water clips to make sure you never fun out... how sweet is that?? See it for yourself:
Meanwhile, some Halo nerd decided to create a fully functional Halo assault rifle that shoots Nerf darts:
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The Cardinal Sins of Facebook
Despite its popularity and cultural relevance, Facebook is very much a failure in the same way the Internet is. The Internet was originally intended to be a democratizing agent; a tool for prosocial change. But today, roughly 20 years later- it's mostly a portal for free porn and reckless anonymity (partially because there is no fiber optic cable in Afghanistan). Facebook is no different. Instead of being a platform for social networking, Facebook is a forum for high school and college students to procrastinate and bullshit. In fact, that's exactly what 90% of Facebook consists of- complete bullshit.
Below is a list of Facebookisms that piss me off the most. Enjoy, reflect on, and most importantly- avoid these cardinal sins. Please. There's only so much mindlessness I can tolerate.
1. Posting "Texts From Last Night" on Your Friend's Wall
2. Hyperbolizing Unnecessarily
This just isn't funny. Or clever.
3. Posting Lengthy, Ominous Song Lyrics as Your Status
It's bad enough that becoming "Facebook Official" is now a crucial step in our generation's relationships (which I suppose no one can help), but this is just inappropriate and awkward. Cut that shit out guy, you're alienating everyone who visits your profile. Not to mention that song is completely insane- good luck finding a rebound girl with a status like that.
4. Greek Life Nonsense
I'm not even going to say anything snarky about this.
*puts on blindfold and runs across the highway*
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Fuck American Eagle (And sorry for the hiatus)
It has been too long since I've last posted. Anyway, as a proud American, let me just say FUCK AMERICAN EAGLE. I took a US history class this semester to satisfy a requirement and somewhere between us swindling the Indians out of all their land and sending our Japanese citizens to internment camps during WWII, I was reminded of how awesome America is. It rekindled my patriotism, my allegiance, my passion.
And so when I saw this shirt on some schmuck at work, my blood started to boil:
That is why I'm looking for some venture capital to buy out American Eagle and launch my own clothing company- Bald Eagle. It's pretty simple- just a bunch of red, white, or blue tee shirts with gigantic bald eagles on them. Like this one:
It doesn't get much more American than that. And to celebrate our fascinating history, there will also be shirts adorning still images of America's greatest heroes and triumphs. Like the mushroom cloud over Hiroshima:
Or our 7th President, Andrew Jackson- the mastermind behind the Trail of Tears and an all around great guy:
So what do guys think? Good idea? Let me know in the c-section.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Worst Song of 2010 (So Far) -- California Gurls
Oh Gawd, this song is awful. My heart gently weeps over Snoop's legacy. This is so bad that you need to hear it.
Katy Perry - California Gurls feat. Snoop Dogg (usershare)
*slams head against corner of desk*
*daps Russel Brand for wifin' up Katy*
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Germans and Cloud Creating Lasers
This just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen...
German scientists, working in a controlled lab environment, have successfully used a laser to create clouds. Their next project? Use this technology to create clouds and rain (on demand) in the skies over Germany.
Below is a video of the controlled experiment, during which scientists shoot a 220-millijoule laser beam into a chamber filled with water-saturated -24 C° air.
Impressive, yes- but this could be easily be used as a biological weapon. Imagine if some nutcase started generating the perfect storm over NYC? Be suspicious of Communists and people with sinister-looking mustaches.
Monday, May 3, 2010
This Week in Review-- College Cocktails Vol. 2 (The Re-Fill)
Due to the popularity of the first "College Cocktails" post, I feel like it's high time to offer my superior opinion on some more of your favorite beverages. So without further ado, here is College Cocktails Vol. 2 (The Re-Fill)...
COCKTAIL #1 -- The Willie Horton (Olde English High Gravity 800 + 3-4 shots of Hennessey)
It tastes so bad that it could very well be poisonous or psychedelic, which might explain the violence it induces in its enthusiasts. The morning after I tried the Willie Horton, I found two dead hookers in my trunk; dismembered and packed tightly in a large, black Glad bag. At most bars, the Willie Horton is free since its drinkers usually need to save their money to pay bail. I tried to get Michael Dukakis to endorse this beverage, but he declined to comment.
Rating: Willie Horton
COCKTAIL #2 -- Dirty Girl Scout (White Creme de Menthe + Vodka + Kahlua + Irish Cream)
The Dirty Girl Scout is one wily temptress. When mixed properly, a Dirty Girl Scout looks like a tall, ominous glass of semen. However, one sip will indulge your most heinous pedophiliac fantasies about promiscuous girl scouts and you will leave the party with a guilty conscience. They're so delicious, like your favorite girl scout cookies (no pun). Drink a Dirty Girl Scout after a big fight with the wife because if you're not getting any sex for a while, at least your taste buds will.
Rating: Statutory rape
COCKTAIL #3 -- The Dirty Mexican (Corona + 3 shots of Bacardi Limon)
Unlike his filthy, destitute brother, Super Beer, Dirty Mexican has actually thrived in the American capitalist economy. He still doesn't pay his taxes, but he's a got a 6-figure salary and a new, white Mercedes. He even drives it back to his old barrio every December to hand out Christmas gifts to all the little niños. Order a Dirty Mexican at a classy salsa club and you'll forget the Alamo. Viva Mexico!
Rating: acaudalado!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Also, if you like this column- suggest more cocktails for review below in the c-section.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
New Music [Wednesdays] Volume 2
Above is the 30-second promo for Curren$y's first single off his next album, Pilot Talk. It's available on iTunes for purchase...
PURCHASE: Curren$y- King Kong (iTunes)
Electrofunk, UK indie, afropop... another dope project from Theophilus. Hosted by Va$htie.
DOWNLOAD: Theophilus London- I Want You (Mixtape)
EDIT- Just listened to the whole tape and it is INCREDIBLE. Definitely give this a listen.
Two joints off Madlib’s Medicine Show #5: The History of Loop Digga, dropping May 25th.
DOWNLOAD: Madlib- Static Invasion (usershare)
DOWNLOAD:- Madlib- Episode XVI (usershare)
Verse from Killa! + Hook from CuDi + Alchemist beat? That's not not gonna be dope. Random, but dope.
DOWNLOAD: Cam'ron & Vado feat. Kid CuDi (prod. Alchemist) [usershare]
Bonus track off The Adventures of Bobby Ray, which is out now.
DOWNLOAD: B.o.B.- Can I Fly (usershare)